Thursday, June 20, 2013

I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Learn Anything Anymore

I'm taking a history class during my study abroad here in London. For normal, healthy people, this sort of class goes something like this:

Professor: Here is information about the past.
Class: *sleeps and/or takes diligent, beautiful notes that could be displayed in the Louvre.

For me, the class goes something like this:

Professor: There was this war and lots of people died.
Me: Life is meaningless.

Professor: This General died.
Me: Holy shit I wonder if he had a dog and what his dog's name was and if the dog was so sad that his owner died that the dog died too.

Professor: These people did bad things to their enemies.
Me: WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH HUMANITY.

Professor: I heard some people not affiliated with the war died in this battle.
Me: *goes under table and weeps.

Basically, I found out that I am incapable of receiving any sort of bad news ever.  Or, more accurately, I can't hear about more than 2 different deaths within a three hour class period.

I want to attribute this to inherent goodness or that my study of theatre leads me to a deep appreciation for the individual self.

...But I'm preeeetty sure I just have the mindset of a sheltered, baby chimpanzee.

My friend Joey says that I have a complete misunderstanding of the inevitability of conflict.  Like, I go into It's a Wonderful Life and get really confused when things don't turn out as expected for Jimmy Stewart.

Similarly:
*Katherine heads into a class entitled "The British Empire"
*literally 2 minutes later
Katherine: A war?  But...wait...

So I've decided I need to do something to toughen up in this cold, cruel world.

SO if anyone has a cat with a limp and they need someone to pet sit, for the love of GOD do NOT call me.
I need to start small.

No comments:

Post a Comment